A page out of my diary: A fifteen year old's perspective on "The Skulls" and Paul Walker

Photo by Universal Studios

Back when I was in middle school and high school, I wrote in a paper diary religiously. Not necessarily every day, but often enough that I could be counted on to chronicle every major cultural happening in those days.

After Paul Walker passed away last week, I reflected on how I remembered him, as you do. I'd seen him in "Pleasantville" and as a jerk in "She's All That" at the movie theatre ... then again at the theatre for "The Skulls." The other movies of his I saw were "The Fast and The Furious" (I think), "Eight Below" and "Noel" (again, I think). I never thought of him as a particularly accomplished actor, just extremely beautiful. Looking back now, in my teens (when he was in his mid-to-late twenties), he should have been an obvious crush for me -- I was all about the blonde hair and blue eyes. But like some others who should have been obvious crushes (Hayden Christensen, for one), it just never happened. Now I see that he was rather harsh-looking in his twenties, and had really started "softening" and growing into his looks in the past 10 years.

So anyway, I couldn't remember who I'd gone to see "The Skulls" with, or for what reason. I've never been a movie buff or anything close to it. So I pulled out my (now huge) bag of diaries and, referencing the release date of "The Skulls," found the very entry I needed to find to quench my curiosity. Here it is ... enjoy my mortification:

April 14, 2000

Dear Nick [I named my diary after Nick Carter, duh],

I have SO much to tell you about. First of all, I'M FIFTEEN!!! I'M FIFTEEN!!! I got the Nobody's Angel CD, which is quite good. I got it for $8.99.

Me, Cat, Justine and Jenn saw "The Skulls." Okay, that's a SCARY THRILLER, but I CRIED. I'm SO STRANGE. I cried for Josh Jackson's character at the police station cuz no one would believe him. I cried at 2 other points too. One of them being when Lucas and Caleb were gonna duel. I was thoroughly afraid for Lucas. And the part when Caleb (PAUL WALKER!!) was gonna kill himself. I leaned forward [presumably where my friends were sitting] and said, "He's too hot to kill himself." And then I leaned back to see that he really was gonna kill himself. I also remember crying when the father lied to Caleb. If it can make me cry, it's a good [enough] movie.

Very distinguished tastes I had at 15, I know. I saw that "The Skulls" was on Netflix over the weekend and decided to give it another go. I didn't cry, but maybe if I hadn't been cleaning the house while watching it, I would have. Maybe.

I love that Paul Walker went on to establish himself as a guy's guy type of actor, and not just a heartthrob in a string of teen movies. I'd imagine it's pretty tough to gain the respect of a male moviegoer, especially when you're a pretty boy. Or beautiful man. Time flies.

Rest in peace, Paul Walker.

2000-2001 Playlist

source: MTV.com / Carlo Dalla Chiesa

I'm back to share my playlist from the 2000-2001 period, which, looking back, was probably one of the best "years" of music I can remember -- it had the perfect mix of the teenybopper music that had been so popular in the years prior, along with some alternative music of the 1990s and some hip-hop that would come to dominate pop music in the following years. The 2000-2001 period was probably one of the first years I really started to take an active interest in contemporary music outside of what was being fed to me through pop radio and MTV/VH1, so there are some songs here that may not necessarily be from the 2000-2001 time period, or songs that may not have been played on radio at all.

I started creating a Spotify playlist for this as I usually do, but so many songs were missing that I eschewed that idea and went straight for YouTube. One song from my personal iPod 2000-2001 playlist is missing from YouTube, a song that I really played the crap out of during this time period, and that song is "I Wish Me You" by Amanda Latona. She was mostly known back then for being the girlfriend of the Backstreet Boys' A.J. McLean, but she was also a former member of a girl group managed by Justin Timberlake's mother called Innosense (which I believe Britney Spears was also part of before she decided to take the solo route). Ah, who doesn't love an incestuous pop music world?

- "The Space Between," Dave Matthews Band

- "Get Over Yourself," Eden's Crush

I actually never liked this song, but a year or so after the song came out, I realized that this song had been the soundtrack to so much of that year of my life, I couldn't leave it out. I much prefer the Eden's Crush (the girl group formed by the WB show "Popstars" ... the group which Nicole Scherzinger initially started out in) song "Love This Way," which makes an appearance later on in this playlist.

- "Crazy," K-Ci and JoJo

- "So In Love With Two," Mikaila

The only reason this song is on my list is because it brings me right back every time I hear it. Even back then, I thought the song was a little too teenyboppery for me, though it had a nice R&B tone to it. I liked the girl's voice, though. Another song from this era that's similar is the song "Broken Promises" by Tonya Mitchell. Neither song fully broke pop radio, though they were played in the wee hours of the night, I guess as a trial. Wonder what ever happened to both of them.

- "Ride Wit Me," Nelly

- "If I Was The One," Ruff Endz

The grammatical errors of this song still bug me (go figure), but the melody and beat are so entrancing, I can't help but love it.

- "Natural," S Club 7

"Never Had A Dream Come True" is the S Club 7 song that most Americans are familiar with, but I was guilty of watching their kids' TV show on ABC Family back then, so I was familiar with most of their songs and kept up with their career. "Natural" was the song that really stuck out to me, because it was a teeny bit less pop and slightly more R&B, which was a style I was really fond of (and still am).

- "All For You," Janet Jackson

One of my all-time favorite songs from my teenage years. This song makes me happy to this day, and I will chair dance if I hear it. "Doesn't Really Matter" was also released as a single in 2000, and it was equally good.

source: Lenny Kravitz's Facebook page

- "I Like It," Sammie

- "Butterfly," Crazy Town

Along with "All For You," one of my all-time favorite songs of this era.

- "Smooth Criminal," Alien Ant Farm

- "I Need You," LeAnn Rimes

- "Crazy For This Girl," Evan and Jaron

- "It Wasn't Me," Shaggy

- "Love This Way," Eden's Crush

- "Lady Marmalade," Moulin Rouge soundtrack

- "Again," Lenny Kravitz

I surprised even myself when I found myself falling in love with this song. I'd already been a minor fan of Lenny Kravitz's, but this song was so simplistic in comparison to the songs I preferred. I think this is just such a simple and beautiful love song.

- "Breathe," Faith Hill

- "I'm Like A Bird," Nelly Furtado

- "More Than That," Backstreet Boys

- "No More (Baby I'ma Do Right)," 3LW

- "Drive," Incubus

Another song that defines this time in my life for me. This is such a great song, and part of what drove me towards more acoustic music.

- "Nobody Wants To Be Lonely," Ricky Martin ft. Christina Aguilera

- "Fill Me In," Craig David

I'm shocked and downright disappointed that Craig David hasn't had greater success in the United States. His music was so fresh at the time, and a fantastic fusion of pop and R&B that wasn't a filled niche at the time (and still really isn't). Plus, he's got such a pretty face.

- "All Or Nothing," O-Town

I wasn't a huge fan of O-Town, but something about this song -- or maybe the music video -- was so sad to me at the time that it made an impact and has stuck with me since. There was some controversy at the time among boy band fans over the intro of this song, as it was more or less identical to that of "Drowning" by the Backstreet Boys, a song that wasn't released until fall of 2001. Who copied who? Will we ever know?

- "How Long," Dream

Straight-up bubblegum pop, but such a princessy, girly song.

- "Here's To The Night," Eve 6

I don't think I'll ever not like this song. This song made me jealous that I wasn't a high school senior in 2001. I know it's supposed to be about a one-night stand, but that doesn't make me love the song any less. The lyrics are so true, so good for all time. The line "don't let me let you go" still haunts me to this day.

source: Eve 6's Facebook page

Playlist: 1997-1998

How old were you in 1997-1998? Back then, my musical memory ran in academic calendar years, and I have playlists on my iPod organized accordingly. This is one of my earliest playlists. When I stopped thinking in academic calendar years, songs came to me in a jumbled mess. Sigh.

Not all of these songs were released in 1997-1998, but they were all played heavily enough on Top 40 radio or VH1/MTV in those years that I became familiar with them then. Watching these videos, it's incredible how young some of the artists look, like babies (now that I am older than they were in 1997), and how some of these artists haven't changed much at all (Celine Dion).

My 1997-1998 playlist of 38 songs:

Natalie Imbruglia in the late 1990s
source: Natalie Imbruglia's Facebook page

- "Take Me There," Blackstreet ft. Mya
- "Tubthumping," Chumbawamba
- "I Love You, Always Forever," Donna Lewis
- "Barely Breathing" Duncan Sheik
- "Save Tonight," Eagle Eye Cherry
- "Stay," Lisa Loeb
- "I Will Buy You A New Life," Everclear
- "Let Me Love You Down," INOJ
- "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)," Green Day
- "I Don't Want To Wait," Paula Cole ... a song that defined half a generation, thanks to one teen show's theme song. I have to press mute when the opening credits hit when I play my "Dawson's Creek." Who remembers the armpit hair controversy? I credit that to her never becoming a Top 40 mainstay.

- "How's It Going To Be," Third Eye Blind
- "Sunny Came Home," Shawn Colvin
- "Quit Playin' Games (With My Heart)," Backstreet Boys
- "Bittersweet Symphony," The Verve (not to be confused with The Verve Pipe below)
- "Breaking All The Rules," She Moves
- "Fly," Sugar Ray ... McG directed this, who knew he did music videos before moving onto bigger and better things?! Better yet, who knew he was an original member of Sugar Ray before Sugar Ray was Sugar Ray?!

- "Torn," Natalie Imbruglia ... I still don't really understand what's going on in this video.
- "The Way," Fastball
- "Building A Mystery," Sarah McLachlan
- "You Make Me Wanna," Usher
- "How Do I Live," LeAnn Rimes
- "The Freshmen," The Verve Pipe
- "Never Ever," All Saints

Blackstreet
source: Blackstreet Facebook page

- "Invisible Man," 98 Degrees ... Are there two music videos for this? I've legitimately never before seen the one that's in color. This is hands down my favorite 98 Degrees song.

- "Mo' Money, Mo' Problems," Notorious B.I.G.
- "Show Me Love," Robyn
- "Truly, Madly, Deeply," Savage Garden
- "No Diggity," Blackstreet
- "Praise You," Fatboy Slim
- "Together Again," Janet Jackson
- "If You Could Only See," Tonic
- "The Boy Is Mine," Brandy and Monica
- "Semi-Charmed Life," Third Eye Blind
- "I Do," Lisa Loeb
- "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing," Aerosmith
- "Ray of Light," Madonna
- "As Long As You Love Me," Backstreet Boys
- "My Heart Will Go On," Celine Dion

I try my best to approach today's music with an open mind, but really, music just seemed so, so much better back then. Never mind the quality, but it seems like there was just a ton more diversity in music. Alternative still had a steady place on pop charts. The only time I can think of between the late '90s and now when the musical atmosphere was similar to the late '90s was maybe 2004-2005. Of course, by then I wasn't really listening much to the radio and probably gained a pretty skewed perspective of what was being played. A lot of my favorite songs, to this day, come from this period of the late '90s.

And to be honest, I haven't seen some of these music videos before. Like Donna Lewis? Or INOJ. I didn't even know what they looked like until now! Similarly, I didn't realize how attractive some of these artists were until now, simply because I was all too focused on Nickolas Gene Carter and his baby blues back then.

What song defined 1997 or 1998 for you?

List: Top 10 '00s Pop Albums

source:ChristinaAguilera.com

Continued from where I left off in 1999 with Jessica Simpson's "Sweet Kisses" album, I'm back to share a list of what I consider the best (teeny)pop albums of the first decade of the 21st century. It seems that though my first dabblings in the world of popular music were far more R&B-tinged, by the time I was settled in my teens, I was happily throwing my parents' hard-earned dollars into the teenybopper pop music pot. Maybe it was a sign of the times. (Maybe not.)

Since 2004 or so, I really haven't been keeping up with pop music, so this list will be skewed in many ways. Again, in chronological order, the list:

"SOONER OR LATER," BBMAK (2000)
BBMak was a blip on the pop music radar. I saw an interview One Direction did recently when neither Niall nor Zayn could identify BBMak's greatest hit, "Back Here." And BBMak (or at least the only one who really mattered to me) hails from Manchester, England, the general vicinity of Zayn Malik's hometown! (For the record, Niall could readily identify "Step By Step" by the New Kids On The Block, so this has nothing to do with the fact that he was only 7 years old when the album was released.) So I had a crush on Christian Burns (although Mark is looking good to me now), whose birthday was made suspiciously murky at the time. He was probably, like, 32 instead of the 26 or so he claimed to be, but whatevs. They released a surprising number of singles (hits, I'd dare to call them, because most -- if not all -- of them made it onto the "TRL" countdown) in the U.S., 4 or 5. The music was good, and for a second, I even tried to convince my friends that they were not a teenybopper band because they played their own instruments! They wrote their own songs! And they're old(er)! Which was all true, along with the fact that they had a decidedly more acoustic and organic sound than what 'N Sync was coming up with around the time ("Bye Bye Bye" and the like). BBMak broke up in 2003, long after I'd stopped caring about them, but I still pull out "Sooner or Later" every once in a while and give it a listen ... because after 13 years, it's still good.

"SHADES OF PURPLE," M2M (2000)

I know. You're probably thinking, "WTF? The 'Don't Say You Love Me'/'Pokemon' girls?" Yes, they were annoying and their voices whiny. But if you can get over that, they actually made some really decent music. In terms of songwriting, they were on Taylor Swift's level (or better) before Taylor Swift even became a teenager. They followed their debut album "Shades of Purple" with "The Big Room" in 2002, which, as a teen, felt like a lifetime later. Their star had faded a bit by then, and Marit and Marion officially went their separate ways the same year. "The Big Room" was good, but "Shades of Purple" was more satisfying in the way it captured the atmosphere of pop music at the time. They incorporated different flavors into their pop music, most notably R&B, and they did it incredibly effortlessly. I hadn't listened to M2M in about ten years' time when I stumbled upon them again recently and marveled at just how great two teenaged girls' songwriting skills were back in the day. I highly recommend both of their albums if you're into pop music from the late '90s/early '00s.

"BLACK & BLUE," BACKSTREET BOYS (2000)

Bringing it back to the U.S. now ... to me, "Black & Blue," and not "Millennium," is the Backstreet Boys' greatest creation to date. It was ever-so-slightly raunchier than "Millennium," but held steadfastly onto the sound the Backstreet Boys had already created for themselves. They had some angrier tunes on this, like "The Call" and "Not For Me," as well as your typical Backstreet fare, like "More Than That." And while "Shape of My Heart" wasn't a standout for me back in the day, it's become a sort of BSB anthem to me, far more able to draw a visceral feeling of nostalgia from me than the always bland "I Want It That Way." (Sorry.)

"IT WAS ALL A DREAM," DREAM (2001)

Sigh. I felt these girls had so much potential, and they brought to the table something other girl groups hadn't been able to offer -- an urban touch and a playful irreverence. Although none of these girls were probably from anything less than middle-class California, they were signed by P. Diddy (who had JUST changed his name for the umpteenth time) to Bad Boy Records. And because they were so close to me in age, I felt as if I could live my pop star dreams through them vicariously. I'm not entirely sure what happened with them -- I know the eldest member left the group to pursue acting, they recruited a new member and recorded a sophomore album which was never distributed. But I was able to get my hands on it some years down the line and I enjoyed it nearly as much as I enjoyed their debut. What a pity. Looking back at their music videos, it's kind of awkward how girls in their mid-teens are thrust in the spotlight. Maybe what happened to them was a good thing after all.

Sorry for the shoddy quality ... this was my favorite single of theirs 

and this is the only "copy" of the music video on YouTube.

"STRIPPED," CHRISTINA AGUILERA (2002)

Do you remember how much controversy surrounded the release of this album? Between the "assless leather chaps," Christina's "dirrty" look, the dark hair and impending weight gain ... blah blah blah. Bottom line is this was an amazing album, and almost an entirely different sound from her equally impressive debut album. I think "Beautiful" is overrated, but there were songs for everyone on this album, and gems like "Impossible," "Underappreciated," "Loving Me 4 Me,""Cruz" ... altogether incredible and probably among her best.

List: Top 10 (+1) '90s Pop Albums

"Teen People" from Summer 1999

I was discussing a 2002 Village Voice article on tween pop music with my friend and sometime guinea pig the other day, which of course set me down memory's lane. Remember names like No Secrets, Leslie Carter, P.Y.T.? I wasn't a tween when those singers made it big on Radio Disney, but I enjoyed them all the same. [Side note: When throwing a low blow, we often generalize fans of teen idols as twelve or thirteen-year-olds, but in reality, how old are they really?]

On my lovely, picturesque stroll down memory lane, I conjured up non-artificially sweet memories of great pop music from the '90s till now. It still, arguably, exists! Here is my list for the 1990s (if I included them all, this entry would be out of control), in chronological order.

"MUSIC BOX," MARIAH CAREY (1993)
This is the first musical purchase I ever made (or requested to be made on my behalf), and it was in cassette tape form. I had two copies which I listened to until both broke. And I was still in the single digits, age-wise. I think that's pretty telling. I downloaded it in its digital form last year and love it every bit as much as I did back then. I actually prefer "Music Box" to "Daydream," most probably because I wasn't subject to the overplaying of most of the songs ("One Sweet Day" and "Always Be My Baby" in particular).

"FACE THE MUSIC," NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK/NKOTB (1994) 
I think this album was the New Kids' best effort, and the one that has probably garnered the least amount of attention. After a short hiatus in 1992, the New Kids came back with a new image and a new sound, one more deeply rooted in R&B ... and it was mostly rejected. I get it, teenage girls are fickle and they probably don't want their idols to look like men or have facial hair. But this album was great! From "You Got The Flavor" and "Let's Play House," which are upbeat and a little naughty, to the R&B love songs ("Never Let You Go," "I Can't Believe It's Over") to the soppy pop ones ("If You Go Away") ... it's the stuff teenaged girls' dreams are made of!

"BACKSTREET BOYS," BACKSTREET BOYS (1996) 
The Backstreet Boys album I'm referring to is not the 1997 self-titled debut album released in the United States, but the one that became an international hit when Americans were still into Alanis Morissette and grunge/ska/Coolio or whatever. The U.S. version of the album was an amalgamation of songs from two albums that had already become hits overseas. Though both of their first two albums were great, I prefer the first one because it is a little more playful and upbeat. "Let's Have A Party" will always remind me of long summer road trips with my family, and "Get Down (You're The One For Me)" is a song I can still get down to today, though only in the privacy of my own room, and "Quit Playin' Games (With My Heart)"? C'mon. 2000's "Black & Blue" was the next best BSB album for me, beating out the possibly overhyped "Millennium" (1999).

"JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT," JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT (1996) 
I don't think anyone really knows this album exists. This is actually JLH's third studio album. Jennifer Love Hewitt attempted to rekindle her singing career between 1999 and 2002, but mostly people were like, "Why is Jennifer Love Hewitt singing?" I knew the answer to that because she was a cast member of my favorite show as a child, "Kids, Incorporated." She had a beautiful voice then and I'm sure she has a beautiful voice now, but darn it, won't the world let her show it? Her self-titled album was a real gem ... I haven't really heard the earlier ones in their entirety, but this one is a little more mature than expected for the sixteen or seventeen years she was at the time, and it's laid back instead of saccharine sweet. It hits that late '90s sound right in the head, though, and does it with flying colors. Ohh, the memories of summer 1997 that come flying back when I press play ...

"KEEP ON," NO AUTHORITY (1997)
"Keep On" was NA's debut album under Michael Jackson's record label, and the (FAR) greater of the two albums they released. Around 2000, they were given a bit of an image makeover and rebranding and were then thrown against Radio Disney walls. They didn't stick and they disappeared. I spotted one of the lead singers Ricky Godinez on an episode of Audrina Patridge's VH1 reality show a couple years ago (I ain't ashamed!). He is apparently a very flamboyant pilates instructor going by the moniker Ricky Rebel now ... we knew it was bound to happen. "Keep On" has a sexy, sleek, smooth assurance that should be borderline illegal for teenage boys their age (they were about 15-18 years old at the time) to wield. Plus, these are not bad looking guys.