1. The UK uses widely different video production terminology than the U.S. "Autocue" -- teleprompter. "VT" -- tape. I could go on.
2. Harry peels bananas from the stubby end, just like monkeys.
3. Niall is the best dancer of One Direction.
4. Harry has really made zero effort to knock down those gay or bisexual rumors, except in that one GQ interview.
5. Liam is actually a lot funnier than I thought he was.
6. But he's just as dumb as I thought he was.
7. Louis is kinder than I gave him credit for.
8. But overall, all five of them are still exactly as I thought they were.
9. I would never have gotten into college if I had been a teenager today, and for that I am thankful I am as old as I am.
10. Harry knows a surprising amount about women's fashion and hair styling.
11. Harry is also a semi-expert in pottery-making.
12. Celebrating Christmas before Thanksgiving is perfectly acceptable if you are in the company of the English and Irish.
13. Cinnamon rolls are a good post-dinner choice.
14. World famous pop stars have no true understanding of time zones. Or just Louis and Liam don't.
15. And yet their geography is (mostly) better than mine.
16. I am more gullible than I thought I was. (See: Payne Train vs. the pro-wrestler)
17. 7-and-a-half hours is a long time.
18. A lot of American One Direction fans are college students. Which makes me feel less bad.
19. Harry Styles is extremely, extremely White.
20. Even though Zayn is tied as my second favorite member of One Direction, I never have anything to say about him. He's kind of boring.
21. Harry is homeless. And the wealthiest homeless person I've ever heard of.
22. Whatever their wages, the band's trainers do not get paid enough for what they are expected to do.
23. People have a lot of trouble recognizing song lyrics of very popular songs, even when awkwardly used out of context.
24. U.K. artist management teams are more generous to fans than American ones.
25. The English think Jerry Springer is far more legendary than his compatriots do.
26. Harry Styles can fly.
27. There will probably never be an explanation for the amateurish, uncomfortable video of Niall lip synching to "You and I."
28. Pop stars don't need water, food, or to pee.
29. As conniving as marketing teams are with their pre-Black Friday releases and sales pushes, there's something magical and ultimately sentimental about a teenage girl (or boy) participating in an "event" with her favorite teen idols leading up to the holidays. (See also: Around The World in 100 Hours culminating in Backstreet Over Broadway, November 21, 2000, Backstreet Boys)
30. By age 35, I should want nothing to do with boy bands and their music. According to James Corden.
You can watch a part or the whole of 1D Day below.
You know one of my favorite things to do is to take a simple pop diddy and critically analyze the eff out of it. So hope you're having a wonderful Saturday afternoon ... and here is my newest victim, "Story of My Life" by One Direction.
First off, kudos to the boys for being smart and running with the whole folk-acoustic-Mumford&Sons sound. Which, after decades of boy bands thinking more or less inside the box, is a relatively big risk. The sound of "Story of My Life" is the type of music I like listening to, and although I'm not in the band's target demographic, it's the music I've been hoping boy bands would make for at least ten years now. Naysayers, of course, will say that the boys are still a boy band and they're still not playing instruments or writing their own songs. And it's true.
"Story of My Life" was actually written by a trio: Jamie Scott, John Ryan and Julian Bunetta, who have in some form or another written for One Direction's previous endeavors.
To cut to the chase -- the song sounds like Mumford & Sons and U2 and Men At Work all at once. Not a bad mix for a boy band, really. The lyrics (and for fun, I'll color code them for those of you who are still learning who's who ... Harry, Liam, Zayn, Niall, Louis):
written in these walls are the stories that I can't explain I leave my heart open, but it stays right here, empty for days she told me in the morning she don't feel the same about us in her bones it seems to me that when I die, these words will be written on my stone
and I'll be gone, gone tonight the ground beneath my feet is open wide the way that I been holding on too tight with nothing in between
chorus
the story of my life: I take her home I drive all night to keep her warm, and time is frozen the story of my life: I give her hope I spend her love until she's broke inside the story of my life
written on these walls are the colors that I can't change leave my heart open, but it stays right here in its cage I know that in the morning I'll see us in the light upon your ear although I am broken, my heart is untamed still
and I'll be gone, gone tonight the fire beneath my feet is burning bright the way that I been holding on so tight with nothing in between
chorus
and I been waiting for this time to come around but baby running after you is like chasing the clouds
the story of my life: I take her home I drive all night to keep her warm, and time is frozen
the story of my life: I give her hope
I spend her love until she's broke inside
the story of my life
the story of my life
the story of my life the story of my life
The thing about songs that are a departure from the "oh girl"s is that they can be kind of ... cryptic. And not always in a good way (e.g. "I Want It That Way"). The overall message seems to be that the protagonist feels that he is constantly missing out on love. Every time he finds someone, he finds that he is not truly in love though he is going through the motions, and inevitably ends up hurting each girl he's been with.
But I can see how this song is a metaphor for what boy bands do. Not the singing and the touring and the fame and fortune, but the psychological aspects of what boy bands represent, and the shelf life of a boy band.
Let me explain. "The story of my life: I give her hope," yes? Then: "I spend her love until she's broke inside" ... a bit of a stretch for those not in-the-know, but many a teenaged girl's heart has been broken by a boy she's never even met. Or you could replace the word "love" with "parents' money."
Now the first two lines of the chorus are tailored to One Direction: "the story of my life: I take her home / I drive all night to keep her warm" ... the guys' first album was called "Up All Night" and their second album was called "Take Me Home." [This third album (which is called "Midnight Memories") might as well be called "The Story of My Life."] But also, these lines could represent both the touring aspects of their lives and their role in a fan's life, and in growing up "with" their fans.
So when a fan decides one day that "she don't feel the same about us in her bones," the boy bander's world effectively falls apart: "and I'll be gone, gone tonight / the ground beneath my feet is open wide / the way that I been holding on too tight / with nothing in between." He realizes that all this time he's spent giving hope to all these girls and chasing skirts backstage, he hasn't (necessarily) been living his own life or developing himself. What's left is a big, gaping void.
What he has left is the legacy of having been a part of a lot of girls' childhoods and adolescences: "written in these walls are the stories that I can't explain ... it seems to me that when I die, these words will be written on my stone." But his heart's hardened over time. It "stays right here, empty for days" and "stays empty in its cage," not quite knowing how to love. He's "been waiting for this time to come around," when he can love without restraint and settle down, though "running after [what I assume is the perfect girl] is like chasing the clouds." He's still looking, though he's not sure he can change his ways: "although I am broken, my heart is untamed still."
... have I made a convincing argument? Probs not, but it's all in good fun. One can turn a love song into a love song about anyone. That's the beauty of music and art.
Have you ever heard the phrase "women fall in love with their ears, men fall in love with their eyes?" I am 100% proof that this is the case, because if you look at a list of all of the celebrity crushes (if that's a measure of anything) I've ever had, 80% of them are musicians. That's a rough estimate.
This is true especially now that I'm older. Nick Carter, my ultimate celebrity crush, I can tell you I fell for with my eyes. Harry Styles ... well I can't say that my eyes didn't take part in the deliberation process, but I'll tell you that if I had been thirteen and One Direction had been my Backstreet Boys, I'd have Mrs. Niall Horan scrawled all over my notebooks. Niall's the baby-faced, innocent one, and that's generally what tweens want in their celebrity crushes -- a non-threatening entity onto which she (or he) can place all that teenage angst and sexual tension. That's what the psychologists'll tell you, anyway.
So. Hunter Hayes, the point of this blog post. Without being too mean, I'll just say that if I were thirteen, there's no way in hell I'd have given him two hoots. Even now, I'm not admitting to giving him any hoots. But this is why I'm calling it a "mind crush." As in: if I think about it long and hard enough, I could probably convince myself that I could possibly have a crush on you, but really what this is is fascination and a large case of "can I pick your brain?" (I hate that phrase, by the way, but it just seemed fitting in this context.)
I mean. The kid (who just turned 22, so technically not a kid) plays over 30 instruments and basically produces all his own music. That's enough as it is, but I've given his album(s) a once-twice-thrice over and the songs are good. Taylor Swift-level good, except his music's got this perfect roundedness that Taylor's has lost over the years -- I'm not sure if that means he's a novice or an expert.
But what's most important, especially since we're talking about crushes and teenaged girls, is his lyrical content. He's got the makings of the next John Mayer, except his lyrics are even tighter and he's four-to-five years younger than Mayer was when he became mainstream. I haven't seen or heard such romantic lyrics coming from a mainstream guy since "Your Body Is A Wonderland." (Well, maybe James Blunt gave it a go, but James Blunt is completely off my radar and is not a valid point in any argument.) But look what happened to John Mayer.
You might already know sappier-than-a-maple-tree "Wanted," but there are better Hunter Hayes love songs out there ... how's this?
well I'd run through the desert, I'd walk through the rain get you into trouble and take all the blame I'd paint you a picture, write you a song and I'd do it all over if I did it all wrong I don't want to steal you away or make you change the things that you believe I just wanna drink from the words you say and be everything you need yeah, I could be so good at loving you ...
In the words of teens today ... Dead.
I've already gone on for longer than I meant to with this veiled analysis of why Hunter Hayes is a viable "mind crush" for a twenty-something year-old. He could pass for a "rugged" version of Jesse McCartney. And by rugged, I mean half-J.R.R. Tolkien character, half-child -- somebody needs to tell him to get rid of that scruff, because it ain't helping things. He even kind of sounds like Jesse McCartney. (By the way, I mistakenly had a two-month crush on Jesse McCartney, despite having been acquaintances with one of his band members and girlfriends in the nascent phase of his solo career, when "Beautiful Soul" was coming together, but that's a story for another day ... oh, I have Jesse McCartney stories).
But the dude is a musical genius. And that is my excuse for spending 4 hours watching Hunter Hayes interviews on YouTube and listening to his album for 2 days straight.
Does he offer private songwriting lessons? Kidding, but not kidding, because really, I wish I could put together a song like he does.
Two-and-a-half years ago, I made this blog post about how much One Direction's Harry Styles reminded me of The O.C.'s Seth Cohen. Or Adam Brody. Not that it really matters, because we all know they're the same person.
Over the past three years, Harry Styles has grown out of his borderline awkwardness and become somewhat of a stud, so Seth Cohen moments have been few and far between. But I caught a glimmer of the Seth Cohen that lies within him last week, at the London premiere of One Direction's new documentary "This Is Us."
I mean ... it's not spot on, because let's face it -- Seth Cohen would never be caught dead looking that disheveled -- but isn't it truly Seth Cohen-esque? The essence of Seth Cohen is captured here.
And as much as I enjoyed The O.C. back in the day, it hasn't been a show that I've revisited since it went off the air, like I've done with Gilmore Girls and coughLagunaBeachcough. So let me remind you of what Mr. Seth Cohen was like.
And Harry in his "younger years" was the spitting image ...
source: Original source unknown
But we know how this story ends. Seth Cohens grow up to date not-so-girls next door like Rachel Bilson and Leighton Meester, stomping out every girl's dream of dating a cute nerdy boy.
This may be my one and only ever paparazzi photoset (but don't quote me on it). It's just ... I don't think I've ever seen Harry Styles look so good.
He's currently in New York City, spending a couple of days off without the rest of One Direction (the rest of whom seem to have sought shelter back in England ... and as a side note, a) that seems a little lavish for a two-day break, and b) Harry seems to always get the brunt of the attention, so what's their excuse?). Instead of stalking him while he is in my neighborhood as I may have in my younger years, little old me has relegated herself to sitting back and enjoying the pain-free, shame-free fruits of someone else's labor whilst munching on Cocoa Puffs from the comfort of my bedroom. Like a creepy little cat lady I'm clearly going to become.
So the word on the street is that his iPhone broke when he was mobbed by his fans while entering or exiting his West Village hotel. So here he is in the midst of replacing the phone.
It doesn't matter that there are two women beside him, one who looks like she's taken a real shine to Harry. It doesn't even matter that there's a 50% (or more) chance that he's gay. (Because he was also spotted at the Gay Pride parade in New York City this weekend.)
It doesn't even matter that he wears pants 2 sizes too small for him with either old people shoes or disgustingly hipster shoes. Those can be ... taken care of.
But really. Where were guys like this when I was 19??? Why does he look so ... not 19??
Credit: Photos found scattered amongst wailing teenaged girls' Twitter accounts. Courtesy of some paparazzo who teen girls would've traded their souls to have switched places with. Probably Splash News Online. And if I'm wrong, I don't care, because he'll have come closer to Harry Styles than I ever will.
// end creepy puma late night stream-of-consciousness
Oh, and I also heard that Harry gave money to a sleeping homeless person.
As far back as I can remember (and maybe this is owing to the fact that I was an English and Psychology double major in college ... though I think that's more the effect, not the cause), I've liked picking apart song lyrics. I've mostly stopped doing this, since I think most song lyrics these days are written practically on autopilot. Pop song? ABCBDBB and maybe 2 lines of A to outro, especially if you're Taylor Swift. If you're writing for a male singer, throw in a couple of "girl"s.
You get the picture.
This past week, a song recorded and mostly written by One Direction's Harry Styles (yes, without the other 4 guys, the ones that most people over the age of 25 don't even realize exist) was discovered on the internet. It was posted by New Zealand songwriter and producer Sam McCarthy (who did the music and production for the song) about 8 months ago, though young Harry sounds a good deal younger than he did in Novemberish.
For me, any solo venture (whether it be for fun or business) is exciting, because it's a way for the individual to express him or herself. And for me to, for lack of a better phrase, "pick their brain."
So here are the lyrics to the great gem that is "Don't Let Me Go" by Harry E. Styles:
now you were standing there, right in front of me
I hold on, it's getting harder to breathe
all of a sudden these lights are blinding me
I never noticed how bright they would be
I saw in the corner there is a photograph
no doubt in my mind it's a picture of you
it lies there alone in its bed of broken glass
this bed was never made for two
I'll keep my eyes wide open
I'll keep my arms wide open
Chorus:
don't let me
don't let me
don't let me go
'cause I'm tired of feelin' alone
don't let me
don't let me go
'cause I'm tired of feelin' alone
I promised one day that I'd bring you back a star
I caught one and it burned a hole in my hand, oh
seems like these days I watch you from afar
just tryin' to make you understand
I'll keep my eyes wide open, yeah
Chorus // Electric Guitar Break
don't let me don't let me don't let me go (sung by Sam McCarthy?)
'cause I'm tired of feelin' alone
don't let me
don't let me
don't let me go
'cause I'm tired of feelin' alone
don't let me
don't let me go
'cause I'm tired of sleeping alone
My memory isn't what it was when I was 15, when I could memorize oodles and oodles of song lyrics within 3 listens, but this song was easy as 1-2-3 to get down. Probably because there aren't even two proper stanzas, and the chorus consists mostly of the same three words. But I like a man who keeps you guessing.
I'm not going to venture to guess who or what this song is about (though my guess is NOT Taylor Swift), but I will offer you a quick non-professional psychoanalysis session, free of charge. There's one thing that stands out to me that speaks louder to me than anything else: "don't let me go / 'cause I'm tired of feelin' alone" or "don't let me go / 'cause I'm tired of sleeping alone." I don't know if Harry was being a lazy songwriter or just plain evasive, but the way those lines are written comes across as quite selfish. At best, maybe there's a deeper, maybe even subconscious reason for his loneliness that he hasn't yet unearthed.
(As a side note, in an interview Ed Sheeran did earlier this year with U.S. radio station 95.5 WPLJ, Ed revealed that "The strangest thing about Harry is he lived at my flat for a while, but he had a house, he had two houses ... this was like a couple of months ago. He had two very posh houses in London and he'd just come and stay ... He lives just at his mates' houses. It's cool 'cause obviously he gets to see his friends every day and you wouldn't want to be in a big house on your own.'' Hmm.)
Overall, the song is pretty good. It's catchier than it is a lyrical masterpiece, but that's all it really takes to sell a song these days. (The song was pulled from SoundCloud shortly after its widespread discovery, which makes me think that perhaps the song was never made for the public to hear.) My favorite lines are "I saw in the corner there is a photograph / no doubt in my mind it's a picture of you / it lies there alone in its bed of broken glass / this bed was never made for two" just because of the seamless transition between the two different ideas. All it takes is a glance at Harry's Twitter page to know that he's got a way with words and wit.
This is a good start for Harry -- just the right amount of vague, angsty, sentimental, romantic to win girls over for years to come. It's feels a little lazy or amateur in parts, as if he's run out of words to rhyme and has chosen something generic ("hand" and "understand"/the whole of the chorus), but that's understandable for a beginner. Vocally, the recording highlights the fact that Harry Styles isn't a particularly expert vocalist, but he has enough of what it takes to be a lead singer and angsty acoustic rock "star."
Let's compare this writing sample to a little love poem 15-year-old Harry Styles wrote for his then-girlfriend Felicity Skinner in 2009, shall we?
source: er, Felicity May Skinner's Facebook page? And all of Tumblr
Now that I am another year older (it happened this past weekend and I'm not exactly happy about it), I figured it'd be a good time to try to enlighten the unenlightened (a.k.a. convert them) to the wonder that is Harry Styles. Now, I can't speak for teen girls and why they may like Harry, but I can speak on behalf of those of us who are in our twenties.
source: WENN
I just love guys in basic, everyday clothing.
First of all, he's 19 and only a handful of months older than my refrigerator. He's one-fifth of the extremely attractive boy band that is One Direction, and he hails from Holmes Chapel in northern England. He is known mostly for his curly hair, talking extremely slowly, "dating" Taylor Swift (the jury is still out on whether it was a real relationship or a PR one) and being not only a cougar magnet, but reciprocative of the attention he gets from cougars. (That justifies this entire post.)
I can't explain what exactly it is about Harry Styles that has mature women giggling over his every whim, but I can tell you that it's not his looks. Because if you have eyes, you will agree that Zayn Malik wins the crown for Best Looking Member of One Direction. Obviously. In fact, it was Zayn who drew me to One Direction at first, but once I realized that Harry Styles was more interesting, I switched teams.
Here are some of the traits that make him attractive, among others I can't put my finger on, demonstrated through video clips.
+ He's intelligent, witty and funny without trying too hard.
I have a track record of liking boys who are less than smart, but Harry Styles is not one of them. You can tell he's quite intelligent (this interview is a great example), and sometimes you might even wonder whether he's borderline pretentious (like, he hangs out with "philosopher" Alain de Botton and frequents art galleries). But then he does something unabashedly dorky and you forgive everything.
Skip to 8:19 and try not to laugh as he asks for gold man tights.
+ He's not afraid to show his emotions.
+ He's a mummy's boy.
Okay, so maybe that video doesn't exactly demonstrate that he's a momma's boy, but maybe his multiple tattoos for his mother and sister Gemma do?
