Mind Crush: Hunter Hayes

source: Hunter Hayes' Facebook page

Have you ever heard the phrase "women fall in love with their ears, men fall in love with their eyes?" I am 100% proof that this is the case, because if you look at a list of all of the celebrity crushes (if that's a measure of anything) I've ever had, 80% of them are musicians. That's a rough estimate.

This is true especially now that I'm older. Nick Carter, my ultimate celebrity crush, I can tell you I fell for with my eyes. Harry Styles ... well I can't say that my eyes didn't take part in the deliberation process, but I'll tell you that if I had been thirteen and One Direction had been my Backstreet Boys, I'd have Mrs. Niall Horan scrawled all over my notebooks. Niall's the baby-faced, innocent one, and that's generally what tweens want in their celebrity crushes -- a non-threatening entity onto which she (or he) can place all that teenage angst and sexual tension. That's what the psychologists'll tell you, anyway.

So. Hunter Hayes, the point of this blog post. Without being too mean, I'll just say that if I were thirteen, there's no way in hell I'd have given him two hoots. Even now, I'm not admitting to giving him any hoots. But this is why I'm calling it a "mind crush." As in: if I think about it long and hard enough, I could probably convince myself that I could possibly have a crush on you, but really what this is is fascination and a large case of "can I pick your brain?" (I hate that phrase, by the way, but it just seemed fitting in this context.)

I mean. The kid (who just turned 22, so technically not a kid) plays over 30 instruments and basically produces all his own music. That's enough as it is, but I've given his album(s) a once-twice-thrice over and the songs are good. Taylor Swift-level good, except his music's got this perfect roundedness that Taylor's has lost over the years -- I'm not sure if that means he's a novice or an expert.

But what's most important, especially since we're talking about crushes and teenaged girls, is his lyrical content. He's got the makings of the next John Mayer, except his lyrics are even tighter and he's four-to-five years younger than Mayer was when he became mainstream. I haven't seen or heard such romantic lyrics coming from a mainstream guy since "Your Body Is A Wonderland." (Well, maybe James Blunt gave it a go, but James Blunt is completely off my radar and is not a valid point in any argument.) But look what happened to John Mayer.

You might already know sappier-than-a-maple-tree "Wanted," but there are better Hunter Hayes love songs out there ... how's this?

well I'd run through the desert, I'd walk through the rain
get you into trouble and take all the blame
I'd paint you a picture, write you a song
and I'd do it all over if I did it all wrong
I don't want to steal you away
or make you change the things that you believe
I just wanna drink from the words you say
and be everything you need
yeah, I could be so good at loving you ...

In the words of teens today ... Dead.

I've already gone on for longer than I meant to with this veiled analysis of why Hunter Hayes is a viable "mind crush" for a twenty-something year-old. He could pass for a "rugged" version of Jesse McCartney. And by rugged, I mean half-J.R.R. Tolkien character, half-child -- somebody needs to tell him to get rid of that scruff, because it ain't helping things. He even kind of sounds like Jesse McCartney. (By the way, I mistakenly had a two-month crush on Jesse McCartney, despite having been acquaintances with one of his band members and girlfriends in the nascent phase of his solo career, when "Beautiful Soul" was coming together, but that's a story for another day ... oh, I have Jesse McCartney stories).

But the dude is a musical genius. And that is my excuse for spending 4 hours watching Hunter Hayes interviews on YouTube and listening to his album for 2 days straight.

Does he offer private songwriting lessons? Kidding, but not kidding, because really, I wish I could put together a song like he does.